Words matter! What we say matters! No one can escape this truth.

The brain is a remarkable thing, within it worlds of shit and wonder go on that I have no clue how to even begin to explain. What I do know from personal experience is how the ego works.

This little faithful companion is never wrong. I talked about this in my last post.

This is why it is so important when you decide what words you choose to say out loud.

Recently at work, I was reminded of the “what we say matters rule”.

So here is a vulnerable and true confession.

I have a very negative critical internal voice, well actually voices, more like an entire trailer park full of angry critics that look at every choice I make like a bunch of disgusting drunk stepfather’s.

So anyway that felt too real.

So anyway, these critical voices that I have come to recognize make it hard for me to feel or say positive things.

I do try.

This does give me a real advantage in being able to judge others, you know because I am an expert in self-depreciation.

(a hilarious sentence that contradicts my entire post!!!!)

So I have been trying to reframe/restate a fair majority of what comes out of my mouth because every time we speak. Our crazy egos swing into action, they go to work making the things you say true and real.

So for example,

I start my day saying, “I look horrible and feel like shit”

whatever the context I am saying it in, some part of my brain believes it, and if I continue to repeat it then it becomes more and more real.

Okay so why bring this up.

As I mentioned I am paying attention and I hope after reading this you will too.

Here is a brief sample of what I have heard from co-workers in the last 4 days at work.

“Oh kill me”

“I hate my f&$@ing job”

“I am headed to lunch, if I am lucky I will never be back”

“Why the f do I work here”

“I hate this place”

“I am so useless”

Okay, so this is a little sample of the most extreme, and it feels painful to type them out.

Sadly these have all come from different people. I am shocked at this, has it always been like this and I just now noticed, I mean everyone has a bad day, but these people have said these things or things like this repeatedly.

What do you think they feel like when they go home?

What is the upside of beating yourself?

I know from my own research that oftentimes we do this because we perceive for a split second that we are doing something about a life we hate, but it is the life we choose to stay in. This in turn makes us miserable and we punish ourselves and those around us.

What we are doing when this happens is ensuring we are not just staying in a job or place we hate, but that we’re are miserable to boot.

That is it.

It seems a little wild when we step back and look at our behavior. It works so much better when someone else is spouting off slurs of self-abuse and hatred, I will jump on them so fast it will make your head spin.

Trying to show compassion and rapidly trying to change their trajectory.

Why am I so willing to berate myself, but so startled when I hear others do it?

If this is hitting home then start today with the practice of personal compassion and mercy.

You should be the first one you love, I mean really who deserves your love more than you.

No one should go to a job they hate, stay with someone they do not love, try to make it work when you know it is broken, and I do mean no one!

Life is too short!

We have a million options, if you are stuck in a job you hate, I can guarantee you have one hundred reasons why you have not quit, the real one, the main one is FEAR.

It takes 5 seconds of courage to change everything, can you be your very bravest for 5 seconds. Let’s do this!




Doing anything I can everyday to pursue a passion for writing. I am a long term recovering heroin addict. I found the right people in the right places.

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Chris Aldernator

Chris Aldernator

Doing anything I can everyday to pursue a passion for writing. I am a long term recovering heroin addict. I found the right people in the right places.

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